Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The Unwelcome Houseguest...

We have been in our new house for one week.
While I would like to gush and go on about 
how wonderful it has been,
I can not.
For the day our pods arrived in the driveway,
Mr. Malady
decided he would like to move in also.

Mr. Malady is a boorish and crass fellow.
He is unpleasant and pushy and rude.
Mr. Malady is your crazy Uncle (once removed)
who ruins Thanksgiving dinner.
Mr. Malady is "that guy"
who kindly gets escorted from the restaurant 
for being far too boisterous.
Mr. Malady is a ne'er do well
who likes to do the lame finger guns thing.

I do not like Mr. Malady's personality.

Mr. Malady arrived with lots of luggage in tow.
Not those pretty bags with LV's embossed about the leather,
or those savvy samsonite vintage types 
in mustard and red.
Mr. Malady came with
 tattered and torn satchels.
Totes that looked as if they had been long forgotten
 in the dank depths of baggage claim. 
Mr. Malady's bags were filled with 
fever, and aches, and pains.
Horrible things that TSA officials  
would never let through security.

I do not like Mr. Malady's parcels.

 Mr. Malady likes to be in charge.
He didn't take kindly to Mr. Nyquil, or Mrs. Tylenol.
He scoffed in their faces.
He triumphed in their inabilities. 

I do not like Mr. Malady's arrogance.

Mr. Malady pretended he didn't hear me 
when I asked him politely to leave.  
He turned a deaf ear when
I told him it was time to pack his bags.

 Mr. Malady is now trying to influence my kids, 
oh no he di'int...

 I am a lover, not a fighter
but Mr. Malady has left me no choice.
I'm taking my earrings out
pulling my hair back
and greasing up my face
cuz it's on...

My door is no longer open to you 
Mr. Malady.
So guess what?
 get to steppin...


  1. What the?! I am going to guess that Mr. Malady is insomnia ... am I right? He must have a twin brother who stays at my house because it is getting worse every night. First it was 2:00 am before I dozed (restlessly), then it was 3:00 ... last night it was around 4:00 before I finally fell into a restless, toss filled few hours of "sleep."

    I am SOOOOO done with it - JUST LIKE YOU!!!!! BOO! (But your porch looks cute!)

  2. Ha! Indeed! Boo to lack of sleep!

    But hurrah for your cute kiddos! I'd love to feature Smith on ModernKiddo's Weekly Kiddo. We haven't done one in awhile and I'd love to get a super cutie on to kick-start it! Here is a link to more info and some sample kiddos: http://modernkiddo.com/?page_id=214


    Thanks, lady and I'll see you on Instagram!

    - Dottie